Great Expectations
Great Expectations
Great Expectations are not Always so Great!
Ryan, my first-born son, started reading when he was three. At four, he attended a Montessori School, and before long he was pasting continents on a map and naming all of them. My husband and I were so very proud of him, and we often asked him to demonstrate his talents in front of interested (and not-so-interested) friends and relatives. Amazed and overjoyed that our son could name all of the continents, we failed to pause and realize that at that age he didn't really understand the concept of a neighborhood, town, city, or country, let alone a continent. So while his ability to dazzle us with his intelligence had great entertainment value, it really was little more than a parlor trick.
We like to brag about my daughter's dog, Jolie, and demonstrate her talents to others as well. When asked "How does a bad girl make her money?" she rolls over on her back with little understanding of what we are really talking about. It gets a lot of laughs, though.
In contrast to Jolie, our son Ryan is a very intelligent individual and has many other phenomenal abilities and talents that represent higher level thinking skills. However, there were many times in his life that his intelligence felt like an albatross around his neck. In order to maintain the good opinion and high expectations of others, Ryan always felt like he had to perpetually perform at a superior level. When he didn't, he heard the often repeated refrain, "You could do better if you wanted to." After all, we envisioned our little three-year old as the next Doogie Howser, M.D. and felt it was our job to keep him on the "success" track.
I guess you could say we lost sight of the fact that it was our dream for him, not necessarily his own dream for himself - and therein lies the problem. When we have very high expectations for our children, they start believing they have to continually achieve them in order to make us happy. If they feel this is an impossible task, they can either suffer from anxiety-driven perfectionism or give up entirely and head in the opposite direction. For awhile, Ryan's main goal was to keep us off his back. His first response to less-than-perfect grades, like many of the underachieving students I've met, was "I'm in deep trouble now." His grades had no personal meaning for him. They were only a means to an end. His main concern was our reaction to them.
Were we terrible parents? No, I don't believe we were. We just wanted our son to have the sun, the moon, and the stars - even if he did not necessarily want those things for himself. Hoping to encourage Ryan in developing his wonderful gifts and talents, we sent a message we did not intend to send. After many ups and downs along the way, we were eventually able to set our own expectations aside and give him the gift of true acceptance. Interestingly enough, that is when he set his own standards for himself and achieved them beyond his and our wildest dreams.
Copyright © 2008 by Holly Cox, L.C.P.C., C.D.C.®
About the Author
If you are committed to raising empowered children, go to www.transformationalparenting.blogspot.com. To maximize your parenting abilities, be sure to recharge and energize yourself. If you are an exhausted woman who wants to create a "dream-come-true" life for yourself and your children, go to http://www.mypersonaltransformation.com.
With Great Expectations, 'Penny Penniworth', a Dickens of a Spoof, Twists Its Way Back to NYC
Penny Penniworth, the critically acclaimed cult-favorite fringe comedy which features a hard-working four-actor cast performing Charles Dickens' "lost" story, returns to Off-Broadway for a commercial run Sept. 8-Oct. 3.
Great Expectations
Great Expectations Trailer
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Great Expectations - $24.99 Great Expectations - |
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Great Expectations?
"Nobody succeeds beyond his or her wildest expectations unless he
or she begins with some wild expectations." - RALPH CHARELL
What are your expectations for your life? Are you excited about your future or are you facing it with apprehension and fear? For most people the future holds too many uncertainties and the fear of what might happens tends to overshadow the ray of light that represents the life they ultimately desire. One of the hardest things to do in life is to lift yourself out of your current circumstance and step up to the level of life you desire.
We all live with an unconscious expectation of ourselves and our own lives. This expectation not only determines what we have in our lives but it also represents what we are willing to settle for. Expectation is a very powerful emotion and one that very few people ever learn to fully cultivate. Whatever you expect with certainty is what you will get in your life. Expectation is the emotional state where an idea becomes so real that you feel it even though you can't hold it yet. Expectation is like an invisible magnet that will attract into your life that which you expect. When you expect something you activate and engage those parts of your mind and your nervous system that can empower you to think the unthinkable and do the undoable. One of the most powerful ways to cultivate expectation is to develop a very clear vision for your life.
Most people never even make the time to really define what they want from their lives, but even those who do follow the hope and pray strategy. They kind of know what they want but they don't believe they can have it, so they hope that something will happen and come along their life path to fulfil their desires. Expectation however, is a completely different mindset. It is a mindset of absolute certainty that can be consciously cultivated. Inherent in hoping there is a sense of doubt as you always hold two opposing results in your minds eye. When you expect something you know it is definitely happening. The very focus of your mind dwells upon one definite end result. To turn a hope into an expectation, you simply eliminate doubt and fear by eliminating the opposing outcome. Instead of "seeing" something fail or succeed, you now only see the success. With expectation your actions, your words and your imagination dwells upon and reflects you already having and being exactly what you want. When you expect something you remove the doubt that is inherent in hoping.
When a mother to be is pregnant we would say that she is expecting. In other words she knows beyond a shadow of a doubt exactly what's going to happen. Although some of the details are still unclear she is certain about the fact that she will have a baby and not something unknown. On an emotional level she can feel the result because she is expecting it although she can't see and touch it yet. What you expect for your life is exactly like that. When you start to expect for your life that which you absolutely desire your whole mindset turns from an uncertain hoping and wishing to the certainty of expecting. The images you encourage and entertain in your minds eye, what you say to yourself and everybody else reflects only the results you are committed to.
Most people expect the worst and hope for the best. Our cultural conditioning has thought us things like "don't get your hopes up" - just in case you might be disappointed. We've been taught to aim as low as possible. Everything above that will be a bonus. Right? Wrong! Remember that what you expect with certainty is what you will get in your life. You have to break away from the autopilot of the masses that just settle for an ordinary life; a life where they are not really happy but they are not unhappy to do something about it. If you want to lift your life and the quality of your life to a higher level than what it is at the moment You Need to start by raising your expectations. Raise your expectations of what you are as a person and what you believe you deserve. See, what you believe you deserve is based on your expectations. When you lift your expectations to a higher level you raise your own standards and raising your standards is the first step to improving your life.
When you expect only the very best you will get only the very best. What you earn right now is what you expect to earn. The amount of free time you have right now is what you expect to have as free time. The relationships you have are what you expect it to be. When you expect the best it's not like expecting something good or something similar, but it is the best and only the best. You have to stop settling for less than you can be or have. On a deep psychological level this is exactly what creates your expectations and that is why a lifetime of settling for less than you can be creates an expectation that is only "o.k". It becomes the standard that you are willing to settle for. Think of yourself as the pregnant mother who expects (not hopes) only the best and with her imagination she is able to "live" the result in magnificent detail until she eventually has the experience of physically holding her "expectation". You have to nurture and care for your desires and only by becoming unreasonable in your expectations can you turn your deepest desires into reality. Expectations are ideas that are build on solid rock. They are unshakeable; unlike hopes and wishes that will wash away with the first storm that comes along.
You need no special skills or knowledge to raise your expectations. You simply need a decision that from this point onwards you will never again settle for anything less than you can possible be. The difference between hoping for something with uncertainty and depending on something with expectation is nothing but the way you control and direct the focus of your mind. What you say to yourself, the images you imagine and your behaviour are what you can consciously control and direct. But, only if you choose to. If not, you will revert back to the autopilot of the masses just go with the flow of "whatever" comes along. The cultural autopilot is the emotional default and only through conscious and consistent nurturing of your desires and emotions can you live life by your own standards and create the expectations that will lead you to a life abundance and fulfilment.
Great expectations create great results. When you expect the best it will become a directional mechanism that will guide you to seeking out and finding what you expect. The difference between great expectations and weak hopes is nothing but a mindset; a mindset that can make the difference between living a life of fulfilment and one of desperation and frustration. Create the expectation by making sincere decisions. Nurture your expectations by never settling for anything less than the best.
About the Author
We all live with an unconscious expectation of ourselves and our own lives. This expectation not only determines what we have in our lives but it also represents what we are willing to settle for. Expectation is a very powerful emotion and one that very few people ever learn to fully cultivate.
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Great Expectations Poster Movie 27x40 Great Expectations reproduction poster print Pop Culture Graphics, Inc is Amazon's largest source for movie and TV show memorabilia, poster and more: Offering tens of thousands of items to choose from. We also offer a full selection of framed posters.. Customer satisfaction is always guaranteed when you buy from Pop Culture Graphics,Inc... |
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Great Expectations Poster Movie B 11x17 Ethan Hawke Gwyneth Paltrow Hank Azaria Chris Cooper Great Expectations reproduction Approx. Size: 11 x 17 Inches - 28cm x 44cm Style B mini poster print Pop Culture Graphics, Inc is Amazon's largest source for movie and TV show memorabilia, posters and more: Offering tens of thousands of items to choose from. We also offer a full selection of framed posters.. Customer satisfaction is always guaranteed when you buy from Pop Culture Graphics,Inc... |
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Great Expectations Poster 27x40 John Mills Valerie Hobson Anthony Wager Great Expectations reproduction poster print Pop Culture Graphics, Inc is Amazon's largest source for movie and TV show memorabilia, poster and more: Offering tens of thousands of items to choose from. We also offer a full selection of framed posters.. Customer satisfaction is always guaranteed when you buy from Pop Culture Graphics,Inc... |
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Great Expectations (BBC, 1981) $7.95 An unknown benefactor supplies orphaned Pip, a blacksmith's apprentice, with the means to be educated in London as a gentleman.... |
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Great Expectations (1998 Film) $4.22 No Description Available.Genre: Soundtracks & ScoresMedia Format: Compact DiskRating: Release Date: 6-JAN-1998... |
Great Expectations